Over the years, through my work in mental health and wellbeing, I’ve come to believe that coaching isn’t just something we offer others - it’s something we can practice with ourselves. My own journey has also taught me that self-leadership starts with self-awareness and one of the tools I keep returning to is the GROW model: a simple yet powerful framework that continues to shape the way I reflect, reset, and move forward.
What is the GROW Model?
The GROW model is one of the most widely used frameworks in coaching - and for good reason. It’s simple, powerful, and adaptable across various contexts. While it was originally designed to support coaches guiding others, the GROW model can be just as effective when used for self-coaching. Whether you’re facing a decision, navigating a challenge, or striving towards a goal, this model offers a structured way to unlock insight and move forward.
GROW is an acronym that stands for:
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G – Goal: What do you want?
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R – Reality: Where are you now?
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O – Options: What could you do?
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W - Will (or Way Forward): What will you do?
This step-by-step structure encourages reflection and action, helping you gain clarity, explore possibilities, and commit to progress.
Step 1: Goal – Clarify What You Want
Start by defining your objective. A clear goal sets the tone for the rest of the conversation - with yourself.
Self-coaching questions:
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What specifically do I want to achieve?
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How will I know when I’ve achieved it?
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Why is this goal important to me right now?
Framing your goal in a positive, specific and measurable way (e.g., “I want to confidently present in meetings by the end of September) sets a clear target for your focus and energy.
Step 2: Reality – Understand Your Current Situation
This step is about being honest with yourself. What’s happening now? What’s working? What’s not?
Self-coaching questions:
Awareness of your current situation builds the foundation for meaningful change. It also helps you separate facts from assumptions.
Step 3: Options – Explore Possibilities
This is your chance to think creatively and expansively. What could you do? Don’t limit yourself to what’s “realistic” just yet—this is about idea generation.
Self-coaching questions:
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What are all the ways I could move forward?
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What has worked for me (or others) before?
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What’s the most courageous option?
You might surprise yourself with ideas you hadn’t previously considered. Brainstorm without judgment, then narrow the list.
Step 4: Will (Way Forward) – Commit to Action
Now it’s time to turn insights into action. Choose one or two things you will do - and be specific.
Self-coaching questions:
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What will I do, and by when?
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What might get in my way, and how will I handle it?
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How will I hold myself accountable?
This step transforms intention into commitment. Even small, consistent actions create momentum.
Why the GROW Model Works for Self-Coaching
Using the GROW model on yourself creates space for reflection, decision-making, and self-directed change. It:
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Structures your thinking when you’re feeling stuck
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Encourages personal accountability
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Builds self-awareness and confidence
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Helps separate emotional reaction from practical response
You can journal through the steps, talk yourself through them on a walk, or even record a voice memo. The key is creating a conversation with yourself that’s curious, compassionate, and constructive.
Coaching yourself doesn’t mean doing everything alone - it means learning to access your own wisdom. The GROW model gives you a framework to navigate life’s decisions and challenges with clarity, confidence, and intention. As with any skill, the more you practice self-coaching, the more natural it becomes.
Stephen Scally
Health & Wellbeing Consultant
Irish Life Wellbeing